Protector
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: Because the last thing anyone should ever do is chew up Laxus' headphones. That or mess with his family. They're pretty even on the list, actually. - One-shot, set in the Parenthood universe.


Protector

If there was anything that Mirajane enjoyed, it was watching her boys play with one another.

She'd always kind of pictured her life in that way. With children and a husband and even the dog that they had, she'd always wanted them. All of them. Sure, she'd also envisioned them with a house, but she had come to love their tiny apartment. If anything, it only made them all so much closer.

The boys liked it too. Then again, for the most part, her sons seemed to like everything.

They were just happy children. Which, of course, made her happy. Mirajane always made sure to make time for the two of them, which was enough for the oldest, Nathan, to be content for his whole life. And Pike, the youngest, he was still so little that all attention was good to him.

Boy, did his brother Nathan give him a lot of that.

Nate just loved his brother so much! Then. Not before. Mainly because, finally, Pike was old enough to tumble around with him and actually have fun with. He didn't just sit there and whine anymore. Nope. He could crawl around and make all these funny noises.

It was great.

"Nathan! Don't!"

Except for when he was being scolded.

The same was with Mira though. She loved watching her boys play. Until Nathan got a tad too rough.

"I'm playin'," he complained as she came to separate the two of them. Pike was in tears over the fact that his brother had pushed him to the ground and reached out for his mother, who quickly took him into her arms. "Mommy! Don't pick him up. Me!"

"Nathan, we don't push," she scolded before going back to the couch to sit down, Pike calming himself by sucking on his thumb and snuggling up to his mother. "You know that."

"I didn't!"

"I saw you," she told him with a frown. Rarely was she so hard on him, but they'd had a few problems with him recently hurting the baby and she just wasn't going to let him go on with it. "Are you lying to me?"

"No!" He sniffled some himself then. "Mommy."

"Say sorry."

"Mommy-"

"You have to, Nate."

"Sorry!" He came running over then too, to climb up on the couch. Pike just made noises at him as he took to gently patting his baby brother on the head. "I'm sorry, Pike. I love you."

"He loves you too." Mira even smiled then. "You just can't hurt him. He's not as old as you. You have to play gently with him. He's so tiny."

Nate pressed a few kisses to the baby's head, making Pike bat at him and Mirajane giggle.

"What are you guys doing?" they heard then as Laxus came in from the hall. "Making all that noise. What part of me resting after getting home from a job don't you get, Mirajane?"

"Sorry, dragon," she said as he just came to take a seat on the couch as well, lifting Nathan up first before placing the boy back in his lap. "I was just-"

"Nate, were you being bad?" Laxus knew going through Mira would only end him up with a bunch of fallacies. "Huh?"

"No."

"Nathan-"

"I's playin'!"

"We've talked about this, buddy," Laxus said as the boy just glared up at him. "Pike isn't old enough to play how you want. You have to play how he wants."

"That's not fair. He's the one that's the baby."

Mirajane giggled at that which got her a look from her husband.

"It is fair, Nathan," he told him with a hard stare. "It's very fair. When you were a baby, no one was mean to you like this."

He just took to whining then, not liking when he was beaten. Pike was all better then though and just tilted his head back to stare at his mother. When he had her attention, he let out a loud giggle, reaching up for the woman.

"Pike," she cooed, grabbing his little hands in her own. "What are you doing?"

Nathan didn't like this at all. And, with a loud whine, he shoved away from Laxus and got back down on the floor. Glaring then in a rare act at Mirajane, he said, "You're being mean."

"How am I being mean, Nate? I'm just-"

"You play with Pike and not me! You yelled at me!"

"Right now," Laxus grumbled as Mira only blinked, "you're the one yelling at her. And you're gonna knock it off. Now. You want a spanking?"

"Laxus."

"What, Mira? He's yelling at you. That's not okay."

"And there are other ways to deal with-"

"Not to me there aren't."

Nathan, not liking this threat, fell back onto his butt then, thinking if he was sitting there was nothing Laxus could do to him. He kept up his whining though, tossing his head back to do so.

"When exactly is he supposed to grow out of these?" the slayer complained as he jumped up to snatch the boy up and haul him off to his bedroom for a timeout. "I mean, seriously."

"Don't hit him, Lax."

"Yeah, yeah."

Pike was taking her attention then though, reaching up to pat at her. Mirajane only leaned down to give him some more snuggles, making the baby coo and wiggle around in her lap.

"I have to go check on my other baby," she told the little boy with a sigh when she heard Laxus yelling from the other room. "Okay?"

When she got into the boys' shared bedroom, she found Nathan sitting on the floor, crying, as Laxus yelled at him. With a roll of her eyes, she shoved Pike off on the man and kicked him out of the room.

"Go nap with the baby," she said simply. "We won't bother you anymore."

He only narrowed his eyes at Nathan though. "Stop crying! You're not a baby. And when Mira tells you something-"

"Go, Laxus." Mira frowned at him. "Now. You're upsetting Pike."

That was true, actually, as the baby took to whining over the man's loud voice. With a huff, Laxus left the room to go tend to him and no doubt sleep some more.

Then it was just Mirajane and Nate.

"I don't like Laxus," he told her as he stood up again, tears still in his eyes. "Mommy."

"You don't call him by his first name, Nate. We've talked about that."

He just rushed over to his bed to climb into it. If Pike got to nap then so did he!

"I wasn't bad."

"Yes, you were."

"No."

"Nathan-"

"Take nap?" He stared up at her then, sniffling some. "Mommy? With me?"

Sighing, she moved to lay down with him. "Okay, but your bed's not very big here, you know."

He liked it better that way. Then he and Mira could snuggle!

Settling into her arms as she wrapped them around him, he yawned loudly.

"Are you sorry that you yelled at me? Nathan?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Say it if you mean it."

"Yes, Mommy." He cuddled up close to her. "I love you."

"I love you too," she assured him, much to the four year old boy's joy. "Very much. And you know that Laxus loves you too. And so does Pike."

"I know."

"Then don't be so mean to them, okay?"

"Mmmm… You yelled at me."

"You were hurting Pike. You can't do that, Nathan. You should protect him."

"'tect," he repeated slowly, almost sounding out the word. "P'tect."

"Right." Mira nodded her head. "You're his big brother. Remember? You're supposed to protect him. You have to look out for him and make sure that he doesn't get hurt. It's your job, Nate."

Hmmm.

So, after a quick nap, Nathan decided to get down to some protecting. There were, as it turned out, a lot of things to protect Pike from.

"You can't eat that."

That was one of the biggest things. The little brat put everything in his mouth. Everything. Even Nathan's toys! It was crazy.

Apparently though, he couldn't get upset with him. He just had to try and keep him from doing it. Because that was what a protector did.

Like, for instance, when they were taken to the park the next day by their father. The doggy was there too and, at one point, was busy chasing another dog, making the slayer have to chase him down so he didn't harm he other animal. And while he was busy doing that, Nathan found his own task.

"No, Pike. Get hurt."

The baby was crawling over towards a pile of ants and, well, from experience (quite a few, actually), Nate knew that those weren't the kindest of insects.

To save his bubba (protect him, as it were), Nathan rushed over to the little blanket his daddy had sat the baby down on and, since Mira made such a fuss about pushing and all, he tugged on the blanket, dragging it away from the anthill. Pike was so enthralled by this that he sat back on his butt and looked around, amazed that he was moving. He even started giggling. And, well, if there was anything that the boy liked, it was making his brother giggle. He pulled him all over then, dragging that blanket along behind him, laughing along with Pike, just happy from making him happy.

Ah, the tasks of being a 'tector.

"What are you doing, kid?" Laxus grumbled when he showed back up, sweaty, but with Mira's prized pooch, who was give out by then and just came to collapse next to Pike's diaper bag. "Huh?"

"Playin'," Nate told his father as he came to a stop, though he still held the blanket in his hands. "With Pike."

The baby in question just sat there then, staring up at his father, giggling no longer. Why was Laxus stopping their game?

"Well," the slayer huffed then with a frown, "just don't hurt him, alright?"

Of course not! What would be the point of protecting him if he was just going to hurt him?

Their game was a simple one too. So simple, in fact, that they were even able to play it back at home. All they needed was a blankie. And Mirajane thought that it was super cute that Nathan wanted to tug his brother around. Laxus still had his doubts though, fearful that Nathan would unintentionally bang him against a wall or table. To remedy this, Mira always cleared some space for them to play before, pushing the coffee table or whatever else to the side, just for them.

She did, after all, really like to see them playing together.

Pike loved his older brother. He likedplaying with Nathan. Especially when he'd snuggle with him or tug him around on the blanket. And when he would carry him around (it was more of dragging the boy around, as Nate wasn't much bigger than him, and Laxus usually put a stop to it for fear of the child being hurt) was the best. Nathan was the best.

At protecting too.

His skills in that department were put to the test one day as, with their mother at work, the boys got left with their father. He was busy in the kitchen, making their lunch, when it happened. Nathan was happily playing with his toy cars and Pike was supposed to be doing the same when, suddenly, when Nate glanced over there, he found that the boy was actually busy chewing up on Laxus most prized possession.

"No!" Nate was quick to reach over and snatch the headphone from the other child. It was the spike on the actual earpiece that Pike had been munching on. Even if it wasn't something Laxus loved so much, it looked pretty dangerous to be putting in your mouth to Nathan. That was where his first protector duties came in. He had to stop him from chewing on it before he got hurt.

"Alright, guys, it's time to eat. And Nate, don't tell Mirajane, but I bought us some cookies to go with- What are you doing?"

Laxus was rushing over then, glaring heavily at his oldest who, at the moment, was holding the spit covered headset that had been sitting on the coffee table previously.

"Nathan," he growled as he came to snatch the headphone from the boy's hand. "What have you done? You got it all…nasty and you chewed on it and… What's wrong with you?"

The boy was going on five and, honestly, had outgrown such childish things. He didn't put things in his mouth anymore to chew on. He was a big boy. Laxus always called him his big boy. And now he was eating his headphones? Unacceptable.

Nathan glanced from his father to Pike, who was happily drooling on himself, knowing that all he had to do was explain what had happened and he'd be all saved. But he couldn't rat on Pike. His baby brother. The person he was 'tecting. No way. No how.

"I just did it," Nate said with a slight shrug to Laxus, which pissed the man off even more. Practically spitting then, Laxus growled while pointing to the hall.

"Go to your room!"

"Daddy-"

"Now! And don't come out. Do you know how long I've had these? I keep them in very good condition. And now I got you slobbering all over them? You're not a baby, Nate. You're a big kid. You know not to put things in your mouth. Now get to your room, before I just spank you."

That was enough of a threat to get the boy running, leaving behind his brother. That was okay though. As mean as Laxus was, he seemed to like Pike a whole lot. Enough to not send him off to the bedroom.

Nate was still rather put out about that. He was just trying to keep Pike from getting in trouble. Like Mira told him to. And the longer he sat there, waiting, the more he worried. Was Laxus not going to call him to lunch now? Was he just going to let him starve? Would he never get to eat again?

It was a grueling twenty minutes in there for Nate. And, in the end, the only thing that saved him was that Mira had traded with Lisanna at the last minute and gotten the afternoon off, so she'd come home to spend some time with the them before the night shift.

"Why," he heard her complain when she was met at the door by Laxus, "is he in his room?"

"Because," Laxus replied, their voices coming closer as they no doubt headed to the room, "he chewed up my headphones!"

"Oh, Laxus."

"What? He did!"

The bedroom door opened then and Nathan, who'd taking to trying to nap and forget how hungry he (thought he) was, lifted his head.

"Mommy."

"Hi, baby." She rushed over to him as Laxus came into the room too, chewed up headphones in one hand, Pike in the other. Mirajane just came to sit down on the bed with Nate, pulling him into her lap. "Are you okay? He didn't spank you?"

"But I should have," Laxus grumbled when Nate shook his head. "You brat."

"Laxus." Mira sent him a look before looking down at her baby. "You didn't do that, did you?"

"Yes."

"See?" Laxus waved his headphones for this. "I demand justice!"

"Why would you do that, Nate?" Mira asked. "Huh?"

"It doesn't matter," his father cut him off, still frowning as he went to drop Pike in his crib. That lucky brat. He'd already gotten to eat. "He did it so he's going to be punished with-"

"You are not starving him over some stupid headphones."

"What? No." Laxus gave her a look that time. "I wouldn't ever starve him, Mira. Or the other one. What kind of parent do you think I am?"

He had come closer then, making it easy for Mira to look over the headphones closer. When she did, she just frowned.

"Laxus, look at this." She took them from him. "The spike."

"What about it?"

"That's what you chewed, Nate?" she asked. When he nodded, she shook her head. "You have too many teeth, I think."

"Eh?" Laxus frowned at her. "What are you saying?"

"There's really only one mark on here."

"And? What are you now? A detective? So the boy ain't got sharp canines. Why's that my problem? Maybe he's about to lose a tooth or something and-"

"Nate, did you chew this or did Pike?" Mira looked back at the boy. "Because-"

"Mommy!" He frowned up at her then. "Shhh."

"Don't shush her." Laxus wasn't done being annoyed with the little boy. "You-"

"Why did you hide that Pike did this?" Mira asked him. "It's really not either of your faults, I don't think."

"What?" Laxus glared. "Demon-"

"You shouldn't have left it in their reach."

"It's my apartment! I can do whatever I-"

"I mean, Lax, even the dog could have been the one to do it. Why did you blame Nathan?"

"He was holding it! And said he did it!"

"But he didn't."

"Why? Because you what? Gave the thing one glance and-"

"Pike did it, huh, baby?" Mira asked the little boy who just frowned. "Or the doggy? You didn't. You know better."

"Why are you questioning him? I already did!" The slayer was not happy. "And, Mira, if you would kindly let me get back to disciplining my son here-"

"Pike's the baby," Nate told her then. "I 'tect him from Laxus. Like you said."

"What?" Mira glared over at her husband then. "What do you do to them that he thought he had to protect-"

"Nothing!"

"You're not punishing the baby, are you, Laxus?" Mira was standing then. "Because-"

"What? No. I wouldn't hurt Pike. He's just a little…snotty baby. What good would it do to even get mad at him? But Nathan is-"

"If you hurt Pike-"

"I haven't! Ever! Nathan, tell her. Now."

"I just 'tect Pike, Mommy." He nodded his head. "Laxus won't give me lunch though! And he bought cookies."

"What?"

Growl. "You little snitch! This is what I get? Huh? For getting us a fun little snack?"

"Laxus," Mira complained. "We've already talked about how you feed them too many sweets. And about how you eat too many-"

"Don't tell me how to eat, woman. I have the body of a god. If occasionally I want to-"

"Body of a god? Laxus, you're losing definition."

"How could you say that? Take that back!"

Their loud voices had disturbed Pike then who, from his crib, let out a slight whine. Leaping into action, Nate jumped out of Mira's lap and picked up one of the stuffed animals off the ground.

"Pike." He went to stare in at him from the crib bars, holding up the stuffed toy. "Bubba. You're okay. I 'tect you. Laxus is loud. Shhh, Laxus. You scared Pike."

"I didn't scare nothing," the man grumbled under his breath, looking off. "Stupid brats. Got me all mixed up. Making me think you're turning into part dog or something, chewing on things, then you tell the demon I beat the baby, and now she's telling me my body's going? I can't take this. I'm going back on another job. This family stuff ain't working out."

"Oh, Laxus, shush." Mira got to her feet then before going to stand by the crib as well. Looking down at her boys, she said, "Nathan, can you look at Mommy?"

Of course. She was only, like, the best person in the whole world. Like ever. But not like Ever. Just like ever.

Tilting his head back, he waited for her to speak.

Mirajane leaned down though, so that she was on his level before saying, "When I said to protect Pike, I meant from things that could hurt him. Daddy wouldn't hurt him. Or at least he better hope he never does."

"That's it. I'm leaving. Moving out. There has to be something better than this."

"I don't want Pike to cry," Nate told her. "That makes you sad."

"It does."

"Mmmm…I'm hungry."

"Aw. Is it hard? Taking the heat for your brother?"

Nodding, Nate held out his arms to be picked up. Laxus kept telling him that he was getting to old to be carried, but he couldn't help it. He liked for Mira to hold him.

Doing just that, Mira turned then to carry him out of the room. "I protect Lisanna and Elf too. It's a tall bill to fill, to be the oldest. But you're doing such a good job already."

"Yay, Nate," he told her with a nod.

"Yay, Nate," she agreed.

Laxus, left all alone then, just went over to the crib to stare down at his son.

"You see that? Huh? Pike?" He shook his head. "I get no respect around here. I am the Thunder God. Thunder God! Do you know what that means? Huh? No. You don't. And at the rate things are going, you won't even have to learn. You chew up my stuff, the boy lies to me, but Mira says it's okay because he was doing it for you, she says I'm losing my edge, plus accuses me of hurting my boys and, well, I can't take it. I need someone on my side. Are you on my side, Pike? Huh? Is it you and me against the two of them? What do you say?"

But just as Laxus was reaching out to pick the baby up, Mira was coming back into the room, empty handed. That was quickly remedied as she rushed over to snatch Pike up.

"Your brother and I are eating," she said, kissing the baby's head. "You come with us, huh?"

Laxus only blinked, turning to watch them walk off. Even the damn dog passed the door then, as he left the master bedroom (he'd been having quite the nap) to figure out what Mira and the boys were doing. It was just Laxus. Alone. Once again. What else was new?

"Daddy!"

There was running then as Nate came rushing back into the room to grab his hand. And even though he'd been annoyed before that the man was keeping him from his lunch, now he was trying to drag him along (it wasn't hard, as Laxus wasn't resisting) to the kitchen.

"Come eat cookies," the four year old giggled as Laxus just smiled some. In the kitchen, Mira had Pike in her lap, snuggling him, as the dog laid beneath the table, no doubt waiting for Nate to slip him some of his food. And, breaking his grip then, Nathan rushed over there to do just that, as well as eat some of the food for himself.

Being a protector was hard work.

"Mmmm, dragon," Mira sighed as he came over to the table too, though it was to stand behind her chair and, when she looked up, he leaned down for a quick peck. "I've had a heart to heart with Pike. You're in the clear."

"I wouldn't hurt my boys. I-"

"Lax, I'm kidding. Calm down."

He couldn't. Because if Nate was Pike's protector, he was the one that was looking out for them all. She'd taken swipes at his ego, his body, and the way he handled his children. And they'd only been around one another for a couple of minutes! Did the demon have no decency?

"I could have made you some better cookies than these," she told him then after taking a bite of one, Pike making noises from her lap the whole time. "Laxus. All you had to do was ask."

He just rested his hands on the back of her chair. "You said I couldn't eat anymore. That I'm fat."

"I never called you that. And I was kidding. Here. You big baby." Mira reached up to shove the rest of the cookie in his mouth. "Suffer through them because you wasted your jewels. Gross."

Not to Nate, who couldn't wait to dig in the second he finished his actual lunch. Regretfully though, Laxus had to admit as he munched on that cookie that it wasn't near as good as the demon's would have been. Sigh.

The real protector of the house, the dog, had to agree also that Laxus' nasty lunch that Nate was sneaking under the table to him was not on par with the woman's food either. It could be argued if anything, she'd dropped the ball on protecting their very sensitive pallets from that man's horrible decisions and cooking skills.

All in all, they were probably all protectors in their own right. Nate had the baby, Mira had the kids, the dog had Mira and the kids, and Laxus had them all, snuggled up in his arms and under his watchful eyes. His silly little family. The only one without anything to look out for was Pike and, honestly, considering how much of a handful he was for Nate at the moment, it was probably for the best that he didn't waste any time on anyone else other than himself. He was a mess, the youngest of the Dreyar family, but there wasn't a single other member that would ever let anything happen to him.

Even if it did mean nasty, chewed up headphones.

"Laxus, I said you could eat one cookie. Not five."

"Leave me be, woman! I'm going through stuff, alright?"

"You're about to go through that whole pack is what you're going through."

Silly demon. When would she learn not to piss off her protector? And besides, he wasn't flabby or anything. Maybe not as rock hard as before, but… Oh, who was he kidding? Laxus had a wife, two kids, and a damn dog. Who was he trying to impress anymore?

"Daddy's strong," Nathan told his mother then before holding up his arm to flex. "Huh? Laxus?"

The man only went to go pick him up and take his seat before setting the four year old back in his lap.

"That," he told him with a kiss to the head, "is Daddy to you, Mr. Protector."

Mira smiled and Pike giggled as Nate only grinned up at him. Nothing beat the alone time they got to spend together.

Nothing.


End file.
